Mark Gatiss can no longer be seen in public when the sun’s out.
That might be a small lie. But the actor and writer is starring in the titular role for Big Finish’s latest classic novel adaptation, Dracula. I would make a joke about it being something to sink your teeth into, but I feel the stakes are too high. (Suit yourself.)
Released on 26th May, exactly 119 years after the original publication of Bram Stoker’s book, Dracula is a three-hour, full cast recording, told over four discs (plus a bonus CD featuring cast and crew interviews, and a selection of James Dunlop’s soundtrack from the production). Here’s what hides beneath the cape:

When a young solicitor, Jonathan Harker, visits the heart of Transylvania – ostensibly to meet reclusive nobleman Count Dracula – he cannot begin to imagine what horrors might lie in store for him there… or the chain of events he will set in motion at Castle Dracula.

Soon, Dracula’s bloodlust spreads to England’s shores, and Harker’s fiancée, Mina Murray, becomes embroiled in his affairs. Her best friend, Lucy Westenra, falls victim to the vampire’s thirst, and it is only with the help of an unlikely bunch of allies that the Count might be defeated… but can the undead ever truly perish?

Adapted by Jonathan Barnes (Frankenstein) and directed by Torchwood‘s Scott Handcock, Dracula is just £20 on CD or £15 to download (with a complimentary digital copy included with all CD orders). I might stick my neck out and say this will be a fang-tastic audio, and will provide something interesting for horror fans to reflect on. It might just raise your blood pressure.
There. More Dracula jokes than you can Count on one hand. And bat’s your lot.