“It has been established beyond reasonable doubt that this was no normal act of war. lt is clear that some evil and mysterious force is working against us…”*

It was a bold move by the BBC to commission a retelling of a dusty old TV show from over half a decade ago and put it on prime-time BBC One. I mean, who’d have thought Russell T Davies would dig back into some of his earliest TV memories and come up with an expanded remake of the first episode of Gerry and Sylvia Anderson’s Stingray?

You thought they were using The Sea Devils as inspiration? Think again. Firstly, they are not called Sea Devils (never were originally, but that’s another matter), and they don’t much look like the creatures people know as Sea Devils. But they did in Legend of the Sea Devils, and we all know how that turned out. Distinctly fishy.

But, back to Stingray. Here’s a synopsis of the first (pilot) episode from IMDB:

Whilst investigating the loss of a submarine, the crew of Stingray are captured by their new enemy, King Titan of Titanica, the leader of an underwater race called the Aquaphibians, who declares war on mankind.

Sound familiar? And Aquaphibians, that’s a great name. Pity it’s taken. Homo Aqua? Hmm. Not so much. Don’t tell me you don’t see the similarity.

There’s also something in the relationship between Barclay and Salt that has a whiff of Troy Tempest and Aqua Marina about it. And also of fish. For all the eww-ing that’s preoccupying social media because a man kisses an underwater creature, it’s worth pointing out that this is a well-worn sci-fi/fantasy trope that goes all the way back to folk tales (Selkies) and mythology (Zeus was a master at it), then through Beauty and the Beast, passing by Howard the Duck and Beverly Switzler, particularly the man/mermaid romance in the Tom Hanks film Splash and not forgetting Donkey and Dragon in Shrek.

It’s also essentially the plot of Romeo and Juliet, if Romeo were a lorry driver and Juliet from an undersea warrior race. There’s another thing to consider about the fate of couples that harbour the love that dare not speak its name: the ending is not always happily ever after. But we’ll leave that possibility for the finale.

From the publicity materials – posters and trailers – it was pretty obvious that Barclay and Salt’s relationship would deepen. But what’s weird about this episode is Salt’s character shift from aloof warrior queen to dizzy miss fishy. There are two scenes which made me cringe: the screaming/ecstasy scene which was so bad the director filmed it from 50 feet away, and the weird ‘terrify some poor young person to steal his phone’ bit. Are there no other ways to obtain a smartphone, ones that sort of make you look less like terrible, smug criminals?

But the best bits, the real drama, came from Jemma Redgrave’s Kate Lethbridge-Stewart. I mean, she’s been magnificent for a decade playing the character but this just shows how truly spectacular an actor she is when given much meatier material. Her strength, her grief, her determination, and compassion at different turns were palpable. The character has spent the last 10 years on screen, seemingly unflappable and calmly commanding every situation. So, to see her at near breaking point is heartbreaking. This is the core of the drama in The War Between the Land and the Sea. Hopefully, our sea-crossed lovers will be swimming to catch up in the final instalment.

But what about the missing presence? The one who could and should be there to save the day. Why the no-show when UNIT and the whole Earth [replace with new water-based name] face the greatest crisis in its history? Yes, where the heck is The Vlinx? Is he away at an intergalactic X-Form Robo-Neuro-Actoform Conference on Colano Alpha? Or is he hiding out on the moon to avoid the promised rust apocalypse?

Perhaps we’ll never know. So, in conclusion, a mixed bag, the high-water mark of Kate Lethbridge-Stewart’s personal tragedy, and the depths that sank the Salt/Barclay sexy scenes. So, let’s end with a song, take it away, Monsieur Pierre-Dupont…

Salt-ina, Aqua Homo-ia

What are these strange enchantments

that start whenever you’re near?

Salt-ina, Aqua Homo-ia

Why can’t you whisper the words

that my heart is longing to hear?

You’re magic to me

A beautiful mystery

I’m certain to fall I know

Because you enthral me so

Salt-ina, Aqua Homo-ia

Why don’t you say

That you’ll always stay

Close to my heart

* Commander Sam Shore, Stingray, Episode One