I really wish it hadn’t come to this but the Doctor Who Companion simply brought it on themselves. It’s leader, Philip Satan-Bates has finally put me over the edge.
For a long time now, the DWC has given us all the latest Who related news, responsibly vetted rumours, well written reviews, gobs and gobs of discussion, and of course, mad cap fun and frivolity. Unfortunately, the danger hidden under the rotting floorboards of DWC Central is there in the dark. Just waiting, perched on the long buried shoulder of a Weeping Angel with a mirror glued to its face.
The danger…
… of making me spend hoards of cash on merchandise.
And it’s a threat I’m battling right now! My opponent, the danger, has one hand on my throat, and is inching me ever so slowly back toward the edge of the cliff!
I don’t WANNA buy vinyl records again! NO NO NO!!!!!
It started out simple enough, seeing the article the other day about The Massacre on vinyl. Started stirring the imagination. Started looking around some more.
Oh, isn’t that neat, they’ve got The Sun Makers soundtrack on vinyl; oh, there’s a Tennant and Tate audio… Boy, these guys are really going all out on coloured vinyl, cool designs. There are a couple pages of these on Amazon…
I mean, the art and design alone on The Web Planet and The Underwater Menace of all things are brilliant! And really, if you’re going to listen to them, these old, missing episodes from the dawn of the show, there’s poetry to doing it on vinyl. But as beautiful as they are, it’s only The Underwater Menace and The Web Planet. Those are the ones you get because you already have some other ones, like the Doctor Who Sound Effects record —also available.
Aaaaaand then I see The Invasion (also reported on in the DWC ages ago but I was keeping my distance). I start looking on Amazon and there are a lot more than I thought. No, no no, no… This is a whole collection in the offing.
I just wave them off though because getting a record player set up is hugely expensive, it takes up room, you got speakers; but no, as I look for record players — for the first time in 30 years — the speakers are built in and you can even get a record player that’s Bluetooth compatible and secured in a compact suitcase, etc., with crazy good ratings for $45. Consistently cheaper than the records!
On the fence, on the fence…
And then I see and am reminded of the fact that they have The Daleks’ Master Plan on vinyl. Hhhhh
Of course, all these things were paraded before us by a certain grinning devil called Bates in this, the enablers’ corner! Lovely photos of the designs of the sleeves and records themselves…
We’re in lockdown! Too much – time – on my hands!
Top of the list in searching “Doctor Who on vinyl” at Amazon?
Guh. Marco Polo out today. The holy grail of missing episodes.
My wall of resolve is melting faster than ice in the desert.
I blame Philip.
But I must stay strong. After all, I already have all the videos of the existing stories and all but one of the soundtracks from the missing episodes. I’m already covered! I don’t need to duplicate them on vinyl! I don’t! I don’t.
Philip dances on my shoulder, laughing in his red tights, twirling his cape.
The Philip on the other shoulder just blasts him with a garden hose.
The fever is gone.
And I wouldn’t worry too much about the curse.
I’m Swedish. We stink at curses.
No idea what we’re doing.
