As Doctor Who is now undergoing the process of opening itself up to tender, which I suspect involves someone coming up with a package that includes finance and a vision that is commercially viable, I thought I’d have a bit of fun and go through a few ideas that would form part of my own bidding process. I’m guessing you’ve done the same thing, at least from the discussions that I’ve read on the DWC; it’s obvious that we all have views about the best way for the programme to return. It doesn’t matter if we agree or disagree on the matter because this is a lovely place where anyone can have an opinion, so please add some your own thoughts in the comments section. Let’s just have a good old chinwag and put the world to rights about what we’d like to see in the future of Doctor Who. You know you’ll feel better for it! And then, no doubt, we’ll repeat the process in all the weeks and months (I refuse to say “years”) that lie ahead as we wait for the show to come back to our screens.

I am now at the point, just about, when I can accept that I will not be cast in the role of the Doctor. They had their chance 20-odd years ago, when I was still a relatively fresh young thing, but they decided to go with the Eccleston fella. You know the one I mean, the guy with the ears, who looks from certain angles as if he’s got a head like a double-handled Toby jug. But all that stuff about casting is now in the past, the producers wanted their ‘Doctor’ to be fully ‘Northern’ and I couldn’t, in all good conscience, totally commit myself to the misery or the amount of gravy that would have been required to truly inhabit the role. More recently, they begged me to take over the job of showrunner, but sadly my recent diagnosis of the little-known condition of Tsunami IBS, which I’m informed can prove to be fatal to myself and other individuals within a certain radius, has forced me to decline the position. Though I’ll own up to initially taking them up on the offer. But the trial ‘readthrough’ of the script with the entire production team and ‘top secret’ cast was a rather unsavoury disaster. Suffice to say, just like the unexpected IBS attack that suddenly inflicted itself upon me during the meeting, the production has now returned to a state of being ‘up in the air’ and those involved still carry a deeply haunted look in their eyes.

Moving on then! Unlike a certain ‘Christmas Special’ script that was never actually written, I’ve still pressed ahead and put together an outline of what I’d like to see in a new era of Doctor Who. But I’ll admit that many of my ideas, have been cribbed from a wonderful chap called Paul Magrs. A writer, who has lived and breathed all things Doctor Who for over 50 years, who clearly knows the show inside and out. As a result, his suggestions are always thoughtful and on point. If you ever get the opportunity, just watch a few of his YouTube videos, and you’ll see what I mean.

My 10 Point Tender for Doctor Who

1. The Doctor should be older. Not a contemporary or ‘bestie’ for the companion. The character should be mysterious and unpredictable. Not all knowing and God like. There will be occasions when the Doctor makes mistakes and proves to be fallible. The character will also be quirky, an English eccentric, who makes no effort to fit in with convention or any form of authority. Always brave, occasionally brilliant, and prone to indulging in a good bit of bluster, the Doctor also enjoys an occasional bag of jelly babies. As far as a costume goes, the look should be consistent with a minimal amount of change; it should be instantly recognisable and stand out from the crowd.
2. The Doctor and the companion care for each other but these feelings don’t need to be declared or constantly on show. If you are in need of emotional histrionics or a regular fix of love interests, please watch a soap opera. These characters work as a team and they enjoy their adventures. Any bickering is kept to a minimum: the Doctor is clearly in charge, but that doesn’t stop the companion from saving the day. The character of the Doctor is front and centre in the majority of stories, not the companion.
3. All adventures should take place in the realms of science-fiction. Unless it’s the Land of Fiction from The Mind Robber – the show must keep away from fairy tale fantasy. The sonic screwdriver is not a magic wand. Most planets and historical eras that are visited should be a ‘first time’ experience for the Doctor. At the start of each story, the Time Lord should be as ‘in the dark’ about each new location as the audience. A greater sense of peril should also be introduced; actions have consequences that cannot be reversed by sudden burst of ‘techno babble’ wizardry. Endings should be clear, though not always happy.
4. A minimum of 10 episodes per season, around the 45-minute mark. 5 stories, each divided into two parts, with a cliffhanger ending the first part of each adventure. No running arc in a season that gradually builds to a climax that’s impossible to deliver. Allowing 90 minutes for the completion of each tale will stop endings from feeling rushed and insignificant. The additional time will also allow for quieter ‘beats’ where the Doctor and companion can just hang out with each other. This will also give the audience a chance to spend time with other characters in the story and get to know them better. We will start to care more about what happens to them. Villains can reveal their thoughts and motivations, so that those watching will know what is going on before the Doctor has figured things out.
5. The writers from Big Finish and some of the stories from their archives should be used for these adventures. Doctor Who should be written by a team and not have one, single voice that dominates and drowns out all others.
6. When the show returns, the Daleks must be in the first season. They are known by the public and are the ‘classic’ enemy that any Doctor is expected to face. The CGI mistakes of Sutekh and Omega must not be repeated. An actor, giving their all from behind a mask or the required make-up, should be the one who faces off against the Doctor in a battle of wits.
7. Davros is a horribly disfigured genius who only survives because of the life support system that is in his chair. He is not a double-glazing salesman from Pilling.
8. As far as villains are concerned, the audience should be allowed to make up their own minds. Preaching and agendas are secondary to exciting storytelling. This does not prevent the show from occasionally making a point of topical issues, but the touch in this instance is light. The focus must be on entertainment for all ages.
9. The interior of the TARDIS will be smaller. There are visible signs of living there; tables, chairs, a bookcase, and general clutter. It is more Victorian steampunk in design than glowing white and antiseptic.
10. For the soundtrack, a move back to the ‘Radiophonic’ electronic score rather than the orchestral themes that are heard in films. An original sound, different from other shows, that stands apart from anything else.

Oh, and if I might be allowed a more personal addition. Mrs Flood to be eaten by the Myrka. In fact, I’d rather like Mrs Flood to be killed each week. But this could always be part of the spin-off show, YouTube clips even, where the Flood woman is seen off by a ‘classic’ monster in a variety of ghastly and painful fashions. Drashigs and Wirrn next for her, I think. Then, after that, hmm…  

Anyway, there you go. My own, heavily influenced by Paul Magrs, tender for a future version of Doctor Who. There’ll be some things that you like, and a fair few that you don’t! But I hope that it gets a discussion going. I’d love to hear your thoughts on the matter.

There are no right or wrong answers — just ideas that we can share and talk about in our lovely online home called the DWC.